After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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