That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
