you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Pooping to opera.
Shame - the story of my life.
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