Whoa Z and x make the same sound
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
