Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
