Just cropdusted the office
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
