Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
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