Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
