and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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