I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
