You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
