a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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