You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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