he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
