everyone is single if you try hard enough
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
