k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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