He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Enjoy the penises
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
