Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm like, not good at living.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
