Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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