is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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