Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
