I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
