Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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