I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
