I love black thongs
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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