Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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