I think scott just propositioned me for sex
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
