cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
