Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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