Umm I'm too high to move.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I cut my penus on the lid.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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