Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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