This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
