First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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