The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
