You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
