you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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