Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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