How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
