I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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