The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
