Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Sorry about my life...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
