I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize