Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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