just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
