The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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