I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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