turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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