I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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