Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
