Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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