How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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