Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
