We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
