Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
