Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
