I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize