who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
