so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
