She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
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He passed out mid-signature
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
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This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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