I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
