i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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