take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
