dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize