he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
