so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
