I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
