I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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