And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
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just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
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Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
there is puke in my bra ... again
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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