I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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